Bellevue Family Counseling, LLC

425-417-4700

1601 116th Ave NE, Ste. 102

Bellevue, WA  98004

marriage counseling

Are you in a marriage and still feel alone?

 

Do you find yourself feeling angry all the time?

 

Have you lost hope for your relationship?

 

You can create change that leads to a happy marriage.  Marriage therapy is helpful in when disagreement, hurt and resentment build without repair.  When relationship problems grow, it is so hard to then make the effort to be gentle and loving towards our partner.  How can you when you believe your partner no longer cares for you in the way you long to be cared about.  

 

 

 

 

What if you are past that point?  Infidelity, talk of separation or divorce; what if every conversation turns into a fight, maybe about topics such as how to handle money, intimacy you do or don’t want and what about children?  Does it seem as though these arguments become intense, as though they are about life and death issues? We fight and struggle to communicate; to be heard and feel understood and yet arguments are not resolved and we feel disconnected from our partner.  Perhaps what John Gottman calls, the "four horsemen of the apocalypse" have started showing up at your house?  Criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling and contempt herald the coming of divorce with 87% accuracy.  Yet, it is still not too late!

 

Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy is structured and proven to deal with emotions, reactions and the deeper primary needs and wants that drive us. These needs are about closeness and distance, about connection and disconnection.  Whether you’re starting to not get along or facing divorce for a variety of reasons, EFT is a proven process that works.

Using EFT and other effective models such as the work of John Gottman, I have a road  map to get you and your partner to a more secure place.  Research has shown that after working through all the stages of EFT, over 85% of couples say they are “significantly happier.”  If your relationship has become challenging and you want some help, wouldn’t you like those odds for finding happiness?  Schedule an appointment and let’s get started working through these negative patterns and changing your relationship in a way that works for you both.

"A sense of secure connection in romantic partners is key in positive loving relationships and a huge source of strength for the individuals in those relationships.  When I feel safely linked to our partners, I more easily roll with the hurts they inevitably inflict, and I are less likely to be aggressively hostile when I get mad at them."

                                                                        - Sue Johnson; Hold Me Tight

"My husband and I are so optimistic about our marriage now and the work we are doing to make it what we want it to be.  We are so grateful to you!"                                                

                                                                                          -C & H, Bellevue

These feelings become deeply painful to face.  Getting angry at our partner or withdrawing from the relationship makes perfect sense because we need to protect our self from further hurt.  However, these reactions to our partner trigger reactions in them, which trigger us and so on.  Soon we are launched into a negative cycle that spirals out of control and being in the relationship is no longer any fun.

If your relationship is at this point, it’s actually a perfect time to get started in couples counseling.  Schedule an appointment and we can work together to stop this negative cycle before it becomes more destructive and painful.  Let's work to get you and your partner back onto a happy path.

"There is no question that my husband and I would not be together now if Marlon hadn't been the therapist we found.  He created a safe place for us to open up about how lonely we were in our relationship and get to a place where we understood more about each other.  It was not about new talking skills; somehow he helped us change the way we are together.”

                                                                                                -A & R, Kirkland

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