Today's Creating Secure Love tip:

Lower That Threshold, Quick!

by Marlon Familton - Marriage Counselor and Mr. Low Threshold

Want a secret to making your relationship work? Lower the threshold of response. Have you seen the movie "Date Night" yet? Good stuff. There is a great scene that illustrates the threshold or responsiveness in a relationship.

Phil (Steve Carell) works late and comes home exhausted. He plops on the floor in the living room and is talking with his daughter and babysitter. He's forgotten that tonight is date night with his wife Claire (Tina Fey), Oh no!

Worried that their date nights, and thus the relationship, have gotten a little boring, Clair is upstairs dressing hot and looking hot. She comes downstairs and stands in the doorway to the living room. You just know that Phil is going to be too tired and Clair is going to be really disappointed, right? Instead, despite being beat, Phil sees Clair and immediately says, "I'll get changed." Then get gets up and does just that. I almost tear a little each time I recount that scene.

Ask yourself: how hard do I have to work to get my partner to respond to my emotions and/or my requests? Too hard? There might be lots of reasons why a request can go wonky, but that's a different tip. Does someone have to start yelling before the other person will listen?

Today, I just want to highlight the idea that when your partner says, "I need you" in some way, I'm suggesting you GO! Right now even! If instead you sit and finish that TV show or those emails, life will not be good for you. Your partner will be walking around thinking, I'm not important.

Listen to your partner. Be there for your partner. Most importantly, when they ask for help, offer a hand.

Relationships & Marriage Counseling

Lower That Threshold, Quick!